Sex + Drugs = Rock ‘n Roll in the Workplace

Breast-feeding can increase good relationships in the office. So can touching. So can hugging.

What?! He said WHAT?!!!

Look,before jumping to conclusions, you’d better read on. Just be aware that I am not responsible for how you utilize this information.

Be careful. Be smart. Behave!

Today I’m not just going to tell you about sex, but the Big Triumvirate: sex, drugs and rock and roll. Now you can have all three in the workplace. 

In these times of cutbacks and layoffs, your investment in sex and drugs may be the best and fastest route to growth. That’s because my formula will help develop perhaps the most critical factor to your future success: relationships.

We’ll start with drugs.

Wouldn’t it be cool to give your employees a drug that would help increase trust and reduce fear and anxiety? You could watch the “hidden agenda” disappear. Backstabbing evaporates. People become more helpful and less worried. Meetings are more interactive. People come forward with more and better ideas. You have fewer personnel problems and everyone is suddenly more efficient and effective.

Too bad you can’t buy some perfect drug and toss the stuff into your HVAC system, right? Well guess what? There’s a better way.[Bwahhahahahaha!] And it’s legal…if you know how to use it without manipulating people.

That drug is Oxytocin, the relationships drug. (Not to be confused with oxycontin.)

Simply put, relationships are developed when the body produces its own oxytocin. When this occurs, the chemical is picked up by the amygdala region in your brain. Fear and anxiety are reduced, and trust is built.

Now here’s the sex part:

Breastfeeding releases oxytocin. It is the powerful hormone that – among other things – induces bonding between mother and child. But there are other more “office-appropriate” ways to induce the release of oxytocin.

Eat together. Eating together builds trust for numerous reasons. You talk. You make eye contact. You bond. Mmmm….sexy!

Eat fats. Fats cause an increase in oxytocin. Carbs make you feel better because they stimulate serotonin release, but fats stimulate the relationship drug, oxytocin.

Eat chocolate. The fat in chocolates, especially dark chocolates, causes the release of oxytocin. Chocolate also serves to increase levels of serotonin which reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.

Touch. Touch induces oxytocin. A lingering handshake. A touch on the arm or wrist at appropriate moments in a conversation. A pat on the back. Shoulder rubs and hugs are also good inducers, but be very careful because litigation loves a good hug.

Empathy and psychological support. Listening. Being supportive. Caring. These are all powerful relationship builders.

Interaction. Just spending time together can increase the release of oxytocin. It is my opinion that team building exercises – especially the now passe outdoor experiential trust retreats – can serve to build relationships in numerous ways.

Now here’s the rock ‘n roll part:

If you want to make transformational change, you need to change your people. Invest in them. Build relationships. Develop trust. Help them discover their own drug, then watch things rock and roll.

There you have it: sex, drugs and rock and roll in one article. The question now is, will you put it all to good use?

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