One Simple Way to Change Your World

Прикинуть на глаз First of all, I have to premise this little story with the fact that I am very happily married (my friends will tell you that I’m just very lucky!) and have been for 32 wonderful years. I fully expect that the relationship I have with my wife Laura will continue — until death do us part.

Купить закладки бошки в Джанкое Having said that, I feel that I can tell you that I recently figured out how to pick up women! I know, that doesn’t jive with what I just told you about my wife, but still… I did! And I don’t care about your gender or background. You need to know about my new technique for picking up women. It will change your world.

I recently enjoyed an outside dinner at a seafood restaurant on the Chesapeake Bay. Right in the middle of the crowded dance area was a beacon of beauty. Oh sure, she was attractive, but that’s not what caught my attention. It was her smile. It lit up the place like the corona around the moon. If a smile were contagious, hers would infect the world.

So I decided to tell her how much I appreciated her smile.

“You’re going to think that I’m making a move on you,” I said, “I’m not. I just want you to know that when you smile, it lights up everything around you.” I then deftly turned and began to walk away.

Before you could say, “Jimmy Buffett,” she leapt into the air in front of me and wrapped her arms around my neck. We swung around a couple of times before I put her back on her feet.

She was not drunk, and her husband was right there. She was just happy, and she was happy because someone else really appreciated something good and unique about her.

Sincere appreciation is not expressed often enough, and people are starved for it. It reinforces something in them that they don’t often feel or hear: “Hey, I’m good at that!” And the response? Well I don’t know that you’ll have people hanging around your neck in thanks (but like me, you can secretly dream about it!).

Express sincere appreciation and you will change people. It will change your relationships. Here are the 5 ways to use appreciation to change your world:

  1. Find it. There is something to appreciate in everyone. A close friend, a secret enemy from back in high school, or the toothless man on the street who calls to you for loose change: if you look, you will find it. Earrings, accent, humor, voice, eyes, confidence, organization, style, a special skill. Look for it. It’s there.
  2. Say it. When you find it, tell that person. Don’t be insincere; that’s manipulation. State it sincerely, clearly and briefly.
  3. See it. Look for a response in that person. See how it changes their demeanor. Pay attention to how that person reacts.
  4. Repeat it. When it strikes you again – and it will – say it again. This drives the compliment deeper.
  5. Habituate it. Practice expressing appreciation. Like any good habit, you need to develop it. Create a reminder of some kind for yourself.

For me? Well, for one thing, my wife and I are still married even after I’ve told this story to you. And that’s something I’ll appreciate for years.

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2 Responses to One Simple Way to Change Your World

  1. Sandy Trimble says:

    Just wanted to let you know how true this is! I started to recognize it a couple of years ago when I would thank a cashier or waiter or any stranger who was helping me. Just telling someone how great they are for helping changes the whole dynamic of the exchange. I often tell someone that they are my hero and give them a big smile and there is always a positive effect. Great advice!

  2. I have to agree with Sandy especially as the comments relate to folks like cashiers, waiters – those service people who often feel invisible. When you look them in the eye and thank them, you validate them and what they are doing and receive great responses in return. Try it – it makes you smile too!
    Thanks for the great article, Jeffrey, it is a great reminder.

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